Life’s a Blog

Just in the Nick of rhyme
April 20, 2009, 11:56 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Please don’t consider this a poem just because it rhymes. It’s a form of storytelling, Dr. Sues spoke in time, and some of his work can stand any test of mine. This is just me expressing some emotions felt inside.

I have a confession. I tried to read the book of love but sadly, the introduction never grabbed me. Everywhere I look companions with held hands and locked eyes, much to my demise. The more that I learn, well, that’s the more that I try, to understand this effort called love, and the feelings created inside.

I’ve never been the type to creep, What’s your number? Where’s your street? My favourite line, the classic “what’s your sign” courage’s a factor, my games running far behind. I make excuses to stop myself from feeling weak, telling myself, “no big deal, you’ve already hit your sexual peak”.

Yep, I was 13, and Roxy was in my same grade, we kissed, touched and hugged, at that age never knowing what true love made. From then until today, you’d say I’ve been pretty unsuccessful, when finding that one soul mate to hold and just stand next to.

Entirely my fault? Well, in simple terms yes. I walk my campus blinders on, looking distraught and depressed. “ This is college! Live it up! Chase the girls, don’t stress” I’m steady moving everyday as if this life is a test. Just when I’m feeling down, this semister! What a mess, I was taken by surprise, you may even say impressed. By a request, this guys hosting a party “would you be a guest? Got a lot of people coming, really will be the best. Would you take the time to come?” as I quickly “why yes”. It wouldn’t hurt for me to have some fun, so far hasn’t been done, social life often paused but never begun.

Practically skipping home a smile from ear to ear, did he even mean to invite me? Did he know? Was it clear? Got my clothes laid out, feeling confident on my style, haven’t been in a social environment in quite some while. Checked the time 7:40 on the ball! sounds great, he said be there around 7 consider me fashionably late.

Made my way to the front door, practically floating, nerves popping out of my chest, potentially exploding. Last chance to turn back now’s the time for escape. From this nervous situation I feel I don’t relate. The door’s cracked open, music’s loud, among me now are scattered crowds. Overwhelmed by the smell of cigarettes, beer and opposite sex pleasing aromas. A new environment I’m adapting, practically putting me in a coma. So comatose I walk the house looking for someone I recognized, but with my tunnel vision induced college life. I doubted the “ Hey man, nice to see you” humoured reply. As I continued my awkward walk thinking why did I come? all seeming like a world, often overlooked, but never overcome.

Found a space, nice chair beside a vase, I’ll make this my site for a sit down, relax and watch this social experiment of a night. My first discovery? Girls act naughty if they’ve dabbled in Bacardi replies turn loud, often snarky and remarky as they constantly promise not to use their car keys. Girls sitting on guy’s laps like its musical chairs “Whatever, I’m drunk, so who the hell cares?” Judgment turned to bitterness, realizing the vacantness of my lap. Never thought I’d be one to think like that, but I’m only human let’s just face that simple fact, as for my lap? forget this lonely crap, In need of some intern placement.

My sex life “ the one for me” so far non-existent, just then I locked eyes from across the rooms distance. These were the most beautiful eyes I’d ever seen. Yet I feel calm, I feel weird, wondering if they’re brown, or green. Would I ever have a chance? if I did what’s my advance? What could I say? For starters why would she even be looking this way? It’s all relative really, why care? No idea, just need to know why she won’t brake her stare.

She’s looking lonely, looking bored, posted up on the wall, Can’t believe she keeps staring, not short, but not too tall. She has long dark hair, to her none compare. Dark complexion maybe from the eastern side of the world, what could I say, what could I do if a conversation ever unfurled. How could I manage to gain her respect and… Just then, she pushes herself off the wall steady heading in my direction.

I freeze inside; eyes wide as I begin to sweatin’. Feeling tense feeling strange all the way through my mid section. I took a smooth deep breath and what did I feel? Something never felt before, something straight up real. I felt calm, cool, as if it wasn’t even me.  I quickly blurted “Hi, my names Lucas!” she softly replied “Monique”.
“You have such a pretty name” she smiled and began to speak, “You’re too sweet. So Luke’s the guy from across the room that I’ve been dieing to meet. I’m here on vacation; tonight’s the end of my week. This is such a lame party want to do something with me? Walk me to my grandparents house its not far, just up the street”.

Might as well of screamed “YES” by the look on my face. Legs numb, can’t seem to get out of my seat, she was so fly, so cute even hotter than heat. She giggled hard, large smile
“Come on, up on your feet, because Luke’s the guy across the room that I’ve been dieing to meet”.

Is it weird to feel a connection? Like I know everything about you with no need for Facebook privacy protection. “This is the first time I’ve met you! Why aren’t my nerves steady guessing?” She just smiled and said, “I feel it too, I’m more than glad to do the confessing”.

Just then she reached out and grabbed my hand, time stood still for me, well at least at a glance. “I have to make my way home, or ill get in trouble, early flight in the morning, but. would love to spend the rest of this street together? I find your warmth so important” So we walked hand in hand, still not believing this situation I’m in. I met this girl she rocked my world, leaving as fast as she came in. Just then we got to her door as she smiled, looked me in the eyes and said “ you’re really amazing Luke, not sure why, but I know you feel this, Comes from inside there’s no need for explaining” I smiled back, a loss for words, never been so happy before “will I ever see you again?” praying for an answer like absolutely or for sure.

Instead her face turned stern as she gently said “Well Lucas I live very far, it’s not fair to each other to try to feel this again through the web or some calls.  I know you feel this love from us no one could take, but I have a strong reliance in a belief called fate. If were really meant to be together our paths will surely cross at a later date. Whether it’s next month or next year, I know you’ll relate, This type of love I’m feeling, no lies, no mistake”

I feel so compelled, so strong, filled with such bliss, I firmly leant in and to my surprise? Received a kiss.  Was completely blown away, a dream? A thought hard to dismiss. She leant back with same smile, “Lucas, you I will miss”. That was it, door closed, I stood there, blinking quite a bit. So that was Monique, my true love, and poof! Gone, into the mist. I don’t think I’ll ever forget about her, my soul-mate optimist.

So this is just a recap, of my “love” life I guess. Everyday sorting through that nights emotions so compelling but what a mess. Often times I sit and wonder if I’ll ever see Monique again, if she ever thinks about me and if our connection will ever mend. If there’s one thing from that night, a little nugget for you to steal. It’s that I truly did feel it, it was love and It was real.


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